Another three-day weekend approaches. Kids are out of school, banks are closed, mattresses and living room sets are on sale. Is this just another three-day weekend in your home? You can let the kids stream Clifford for the umpteenth time or try something different! Start a conversation with your children about Civil Rights. Now I am not saying to throw on Mississippi Burning for your tween or explain segregation to your Kindergartner. These are not easy conversations for most parents, no matter your skin color.
My kindergartener was playing with her best friend at recess, let us call her Jada. A couple of "Mean Girls" approached them and told them they could not play because the color of Jada's skin was too dark. I only found out when Jada's mother called me. My daughter confirmed that this happened. Did I mention in Kindergarten?) I can not imagine Jada's mother and the myriad of feelings she had to go through. All I could think was, do I have to talk to my Kindergartener about skin color? Does she see skin color? What words does one use to talk about this? How can this be Kindergarten appropriate? WHY ME? After my initial shock and general uncomfortable feelings, I sat back and thought about how Jada's mom felt. I am sitting here thinking about poor me, the mother of a child that had to witness something. I could not imagine how she was feeling; with thoughts of explaining to her Kindergarten daughter why another child singled her out because of skin color.
A few weeks later, I was talking to Jada's mom. I was asking how she got through this with her daughter. She invited me over and showed me her children's bookshelves, they overflowed with age-appropriate black content. She said when friends and family buy her kid's books, she asks for black characters. She had BUNDLES of black character books. She was kind enough to lend me a few to share with my children. I would love to share a few of my favorites in the spirit of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr and his dream.
I Promise, by Lebron James Illustrated by Nina Mata
I Promise teaches children to hold themselves accountable for their behaviors along with goal setting, and working hard. Promises are echoed in the halls each morning at The I Promise School, in Akron Oh, founded by LeBron James.
Paulette the pinkest puppy in the world, by Tim Bugbird and Stuart Lynch
Paulette is pink. When Paulette tries to cover herself up, it goes awry and all the puppies are shaved, we see that all the puppies are the same underneath! This is a great segway for families to talk about how we may look different on the outside, but underneath we are all the same!
Dream Big, by Rosie Greening
Dream Big shows us that no matter who you are, you can do anything you set your mind to it. Ava is a young girl that inspires change in her neighborhood. These are attainable changes, with the help of her community. I talked to my children about dreams they have and how a man had dreams that all people were treated with love and respect. He became an INSPIRATION to others, like Ava! What happens in the story starts at home. Adults have to model this behavior. That is where we as parents come in!
As I was researching for this article, I came across an MLK quote and I can't get it out of my head. "In the end, we will not remember the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." -Martin Luther King Jr.
This isn't a problem between Jada and the Mean Girls. This isn't about Jada's mother and the uncomfortable conversation she was forced to have with Jada. This is about me teaching my children to be the change we want to see in the world. This is about an opportunity to teach my kids to look adversity in the face and recognize they have a voice. It is about intolerance and teaching my children to believe we are truly all created equal. We can all "Look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but on the content of their character." So I will have these conversations with my children. The history of America is sometimes uncomfortable and confusing to share with our children, The future can be our focus. We can empower our children to be responsible for themselves. We can ensure our children see that color is skin deep and what is inside of us is what matters. We can teach our children to dream big and inspire others, just like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
